Till Death Do We Part
by GiLLiAn AnDeRsOn
Summary: Not given at author's request


DISCLAIMER: All characters are the products of Chris Carter.  
They also belong to Ten-Thirteen Productions and the Fox  
Network. No copyright infringement intended.  
  
TITLE: Till Death Do We Part  
AUTHOR: Stephanie  
RATING: PG-13 (For subject matter and a few bad words here and there).  
CATEGORY: MSR, CD  
SPOILERS: None really.  
Till Death Do We Part  
I knew this day would come.  
  
I had accepted it, prepared for it even. The moment I  
realized the depths of my feelings for her, I knew this  
would eventually happen. I thought I was prepared, but  
nothing could prepare me for the conflicting emotions  
that now waged war inside of me.  
  
Fear won out. Fear of what this day symbolized and the  
fact that the rest of my life would be forever altered  
once the preacher said what he had to say. Everything  
will seem so finalized then, so concrete. There'll be no  
going back, my life will never be the same.  
  
I never wanted to fall in love.  
  
From the moment Samantha was taken, I vowed that I  
would never love anyone again. People I love disappear,  
get hurt, die. I didn't want that to happen to her, anyone  
but her. But it did happen, over and over again. Dana  
Katherine Scully was the only woman to ever break  
through the wall that surrounded my wounded soul.  
She picked up the torn pieces of my broken heart, put  
them back together and made herself at home. She's the  
only woman I've ever truly allowed myself to love, but  
evidently my love doesn't come without a price.  
  
I just want to get this day over with.  
  
I glance at my reflection in the full length mirror and  
adjust my tie for the umpteenth time. I don't know why  
I'm so nervous. All I have to do is stand at the church's  
alter, surrounded by Scully's family and friends and say  
the words I knew I would eventually have to say. From  
the moment she walked into my life and I saw the passion  
that burned in the depths of her impossibly blue eyes, I knew.  
I tried desperately to stop it from happening, tried not to love  
her. It was no use. As I stand here now in my rented tuxedo,  
ring in hand, waiting for my limo to arrive, I wish desperately  
that I had tried harder.  
  
Where the fuck is the limo?  
  
I could have driven to the goddamn church myself, but the  
gunmen had intervened. I'm extremely grateful to them for  
their support, but the constant meddling was beginning to  
get annoying.  
  
"No way are we lettin you drive with the state you're in."  
Langly had said earlier today when the guys had decided to  
drop by on their way to the church, to see if I needed any  
help getting ready. Which, of course, I didn't.  
  
"Today's an important day big guy, and you owe it to Scully  
to show up in one piece." Frohicke had announced. He'd  
started referring to me as 'big guy' a few days ago, and I have  
no idea why. In fact, no one has called me Mulder in days.  
Maybe they think that after today I'll want to be referred to as  
Fox once again. Only Scully calls me Mulder. Only Scully.  
  
So after many fruitless attempts to convince them that I was  
capable of driving myself, I slumped in defeat and agreed to  
take the limo that I now see is waiting patiently for me at the  
steps of my building. I glance around my nearly empty apartment,  
most of my belongings have already been put in storage or  
donated to charity. When the gunmen had arrived early, it was  
obvious they were confused by my apartment's lack of furniture.  
Being the wise men that they are, they hadn't said anything. I was  
in no mood to explain to them that all of my material possessions  
were no longer necessary. That from this day on, the only thing  
I needed was Scully. To be with her and only her for all eternity.  
Was that so much to ask? I don't think so, and that's what this day  
is essentially all about. Scully and I, together forever.  
  
It's time to go.  
  
I grab my suit jacket and slip my hand inside the pocket. The  
ring is there, safe and sound in its customary blue velvet box.  
I bought it a month ago today. The morning after Scully and I  
had made love for the first time. A little presumptuous, I know.  
But I knew Scully would say yes, in my heart I knew.  
  
I look around the apartment one last time before swiftly closing  
the door behind me.  
  
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
  
The limo arrives at the church sooner than I would have liked.  
I still need time to prepare myself. I'm not ready, it's too soon!  
Despite my internal panic attack, my face remains stoic. This is  
Scully's day and I will not ruin it for her. No matter how much  
I dread the idea of facing her family. No matter how scared I  
am of saying the words I so desperately need to say, in front of  
a god I never believed in, but whom now I can only hope exists.  
I will not ruin this for her. She is everything to me, and I will do  
anything for her. Anything.  
  
I walk up the never ending steps of the church, the weight of the  
world on my shoulders. When I reach the door, I'm greeted by  
three familiar faces. Never in my entire life have I been more  
happy to see them. I thought I could do this, I thought I was  
finally ready. But now that I'm here, I'm not so sure. Byers  
seems to sense my unease.  
  
"Are you all right?" he asks tentatively. I shake my head.  
  
"You're late, Mrs. Scully was beginning to worry." Frohicke  
says as he begins to lead me into the church. The three men  
seat themselves in the pew behind Mrs. Scully and the rest  
of the family. Byers whispers something in her ear and she  
turns her attention to the back of the church, to me. When  
her eyes meet mine she smiles warmly. I can tell she's been  
crying, and that many more tears shall be shed before the day  
ends. And why the hell not? People are supposed to cry on  
occasions like these, it was to be expected.   
  
Suddenly I realize the preacher has stopped talking and is  
now motioning me towards the front of the church. The  
organ boy begins to play a familiar tune and I know that  
it's now or never.  
  
I close my eyes and slowly begin to make my way down the isle,  
into a sea of darkness. Everyone is dressed in black. Even Bill  
and Tara's newborn daughter adorns the dreadful colour. I hate  
black. Black is cold and lifeless, it represents death. Scully wore  
black almost everyday. But on her it represented warmth,  
exuberance and life.  
  
I hear the soft sounds of people crying all around me, but I do  
not look at them. Seeing their tears may cause my own to fall,  
and I can't let that happen. I instead choose to focus straight  
ahead until I'm standing directly in front of Scully's casket.  
  
Her casket is closed. The knife wounds that now permanently  
adorned her beautiful body and face too ghastly to observe.  
Wounds given to her by Steven Reed. A man who wanted to  
hurt me. A man who raped Scully and stabbed her over 47  
times. A man who I then shot repeatedly and whose corpse I  
beat to a bloody pulp. One pathetic little man who realized  
that the best way to kill me was to take away the only reason  
I continued to live.  
  
Rage and sorrow battle for dominance over my emotions, but  
I quickly push them aside. There's a reason I'm here today,  
something I want to do, something I need to do. Something I  
should have done a long time ago.  
  
I reach into my inside pocket and retrieve the ring. I finger it in  
my hand for a moment, staring at it as if inside it held the answer  
to every question that had ever been asked. In a way, it did. I  
glance up to find Father McCue staring back at me, tears in his  
eyes. He nods at me and smiles sympathetically. I don't want his  
sympathy, but I'll take it. I'll take anything I can at this point, for  
I now have nothing. Nothing without Scully.  
  
I gently open the ring box and place it atop the casket. The church  
is lit mostly by candle light which now reflects off the solitary  
diamond that sits atop the golden wedding band. I want desperately  
to open the casket and slip it on her left ring finger. It doesn't seem  
right sitting there fingerless, Scullyless. I refrain myself, not wanting  
Scully's family to see what has become of her. Not her, her body. The  
now lifeless shell that once contained the fiery spirit that was Dana  
Katherine Scully. I can only hope that she is at peace now, waiting  
for me. She will not have long to wait.  
  
I turn to face everyone, prepared to give voice to the speech I had  
written. The look on everyone's face tells me there is no need. They  
can see it in my eyes, the way my body quivers. They know what I'm  
going through because they're going through it too. Their own personal  
hell. If this revelation is meant to comfort me, it doesn't. To know  
without a shadow of a doubt that I'm responsible for the pain in Mrs.  
Scully's eyes only makes my decision that much easier. My instinct  
to flee takes over and I move quickly down the isle towards the doors,  
ignoring Mrs. Scully's pleas for me to stay.  
  
I bolt from the church and come to stand directly under the sun's  
harsh gaze, the light is blinding. I sit lazily on the church steps  
and stare directly up towards the light, welcoming the pain it  
causes. I reach into my other pocket and retrieve the only two  
items of any worth to me: My gun, a way for me to end this  
pathetic excuse of a life. Scully's cross, hope that we will be   
reunited in the life after this.  
  
I grasp her cross in one hand and my gun in the other. I bring  
the barrel up to rest against my temple. One last glance at  
Scully's cross and I pull the trigger.  
  
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
  
The End. 


End file.
